Poor Me

I'm having a Poor Me day.  I don't know why.  I have no reason really.  I actually had a slow day of seeing patient for me; only 34.  Maybe it is because I have had more time at work to think about Poor Me and the fact that the clock was ticking so slow, given there is a second provider to help since we have been incredibly busy the last month.  I'm not one to write about Poor Me on my blog, because I'm suppose to always be positive and happy.  I think the Poor Me syndrome is coming from this horrible feeling of not being settled, but truly feeling that things are going to change drastically in the next year.  What the drastic events will be, I'd really like to know NOW (and they better be good, really good), because it is making me a bit anxious and impatient.  I admit some of this is coming from the fact that I was so use to switching shifts rather easily at work in CLT, bunching several shifts together and then being able to take a trip, even if it was only for 4 days.  That just doesn't happen here and it is making me crazy insane, like I might pop a gasket sooner rather than later.  NO ONE will ever switch with me because they don't like to work at my clinic and they will flat out tell me that, which makes me sad for them because it is a great clinic with helpful, wonderful staff; just busy.  The way they do vacations and days off here is so lame it makes me crazy that they aren't even open to how it could be much better like the way we did it in CLT.  And lastly there is no way to bunch shifts, because we don't have PRN's and only 2 PT people.  It is so lame, lame I tell you.  Did I mention I hate working every other Sunday?  It has been nice to have 7 Sundays off in a row (lucky me, thanks to someone who wanted more hours) but I'm back to it this Sunday.  If I make it 358 more days to finish out my contract it will be a miracle in and of itself.  I want to go to Europe so bad this year, but because of the way they do the nutty vacations, it doesn't allow me to have much time off to do so.  I told mom today maybe one day I just won't go to work; so not like me.  I mean what will they do fire me or take my birthday away?  Let's hope the next 2 days off bring me a new attitude before my 3 days weekend...I mean really it is okay to not be happy and positive all the time.  Don't worry, I'll be back for Fabulous Friday!

First Fabulous Friday of 2013

Oh we have had a fabulous Friday indeed.  Can't believe we've packed so much into 1 week.
1.  Saturday I was on call and thankfully didn't get called in.  The unmarried kids and mom and day went to the Discovery Center to see Bodies Revealed.  It was pretty neat.  Later we met all the other kids at Wahooz where we the little kids wore themselves out in the kiddie playground.  Aidree and I spent our card on the candy machine.  Afterwards we went to DQ.  It was a crazy bunch, but fun altogether.  It snowed that day too!
2.  Sunday we finally had our Christmas with the entire family.  It was a lovely day.  Tyler and Danielle blessed their baby in the morning.  Then they all came for breakfast.  Some took naps and then Christmas presents.  Cousin Emily and her kids also came over in the evening for a visit.

I love my 3 nieces, so sweet and beautiful.

Kaeson's Blessing day.  What a cute boy he is.

Sweet Stella is just a doll!

I love this picture of Bridget in deep thought.

3.  New Years Eve we played the Candy Bar Game, always a hit with the children.

Not happy he couldn't choose another candy bar, funny to us, sad to him.

4.  New Years Day everyone left.  Mom, dad and I couldn't handle the quite long, so we went to Cracker Barrel where I was hoping to have some greens but they were out.  Yummy dinner still.  We went to Emily's where we enjoyed a lovely conversation.
5.  I only worked 2 days this week.  It was wonderful.  I could get use to that!
6.  Today I went to lunch with sisters from our ward, visited my friends dad in the hospital and watched Tristens girls.
7.  Thursday mom and I went in half for a vitamixx blender.  We even ground our own wheat in it and made homemade bread.  Yummers!  I have missed my spinach shakes.  Glad I can have them back!

10 Degree's

Do you know what 10 degree's feels like?  Unfortunately I sure do.  I felt it tonight when I got in my car after my 12 hour shift.  You know that brain freeze that gives you a headache when you eat something cold?  I felt that tonight as I was getting in my car; 10 degree's literally gives you a brain freeze!  I warned my nurses that they might come out and find me frozen in place, but they didn't.  I do think Betty isn't loving this cold weather.  She misses warm NC, as do I.  She takes a bit to get going when it is so cold out.  I love that my dad starts my car in the morning, so I can get in it when it is toasty warm.  It's been so cold here that all the snow we have had over the last week is still frozen to the ground.  Typically it snows here and melts the same afternoon.  On my way home tonight I told Tristen it is just too cold to be jogging and she agreed.  I sure hope it warms up soon, because I've been missing our jogs the last few weeks.
My new favorite thing is sitting by the wood fire that dad keeps a blaring; he hates hearing the heater come on, I think because he hears dollar signs.  I even heard him quietly come down this morning at 5am to put more wood on the fire.  I admit, sometimes it's a little too warm down here, but I'll take it any day over being cold.  There is something about a wood fire that makes you feel right at home, especially when it is only 10 degree's!

Things I Learned In 2012

After re-reading my last post from 2011 and reading how I thought it was a difficult year and thinking back on 2012, I think I've had 2 tough years in a row.  Tough in different aspects.  Tough makes you stronger, at least that is what they say.  I don't feel stronger in the least bit; I feel blessed to learn things that the Lord obviously sees fit for me to learn.  Looking back on the last 365 days I have learned more than I realize.  In 2012 I've learned...
~From unexpected losses of family and friends to cherish all moments, big, small, annoying, irritating, happy, sad; because one day someone might be sent back to our Heavenly Home.
~That losing a grandma can bring a void in the family, but the peace of knowing we will see her again.
~Patience, that Heavenly Father is in charge, knows my needs and other people's needs and how I can be an instrument in His hands.
~To appreciate farm land and open spaces again.
~How to relax more, to not get uptight when things don't go my way and to rely on the Lord.
~His timing isn't always our timing and to trust more in His plan for me.
~That Boise State isn't always going to have the best football team, even though they have the past 10 years.
~That getting lost in a series with Sarah Agnes Prine can bring me great Summer entertainment!
~That it doesn't get much better than relaxing in Hawaii
~That I can make Sister Jone's chocolates, but that her added touch of love makes them even better.
~To enjoy my job and to slow down with each patient, the others will be there when I get there.
~That a New England Fall foliage trip with my mom and childhood friend can bring much beauty to my eyes.
~I will always love Hilton Head and the beach even though I'm far from it here in Idaho.
~That a new niece and a new nephew will always bring a Heavenly spirit to our family.
~That Bowl of Heaven would be my new favorite treat!
~How much I miss NC and that going back to my house will bring me tears, realizing I'll likely never have my normal NC life again.
~How wonderful, relaxing and entertaining my evening jogs with my sister can be, which can bring us so much closer than we have ever been.
~That living with mom and dad is rather nice, even in your 30's.
~That having a temple so close yet unavailable for most of the year, makes you ever so grateful when it re-opens.
~Never rent your house to friends, they won't take care of it as you do and in the end you won't be friends anymore.
~To suck it up and take my thyroid pill an hour before breakfast each morning, as annoying as it is.
~That I really do enjoy a White Christmas!