Endure

This week I had the distinct opportunity to hear Elder Holland from the quorum of the 12 apostles speak at a fireside for single adults 30+.  I sat in the middle of the 2nd row right in front of the pulpit. It was awesome to listen to him speak for an hour.  He looked in my eyes at least twice which was so neat.  He spoke about broken things and how we all at times feel broken.  But he also talked about how we will be made whole through the atonement and the resurrection.  My favorite quote was "endure and save yourself for days of happiness ahead."  I'm living proof that there is always happiness and better days ahead.  No time was ever worse than when I was first diagnosed with OVC, spending 15 days in the hospital with a tube in every orifice.

Today in Stake Conference our Stake Presidency each spoke on this same topic of enduring.  I felt that all of these talks were a gift from Heavenly Father to me, answers to my prayers which gave me a little more hope and faith as I head towards yet another chemo treatment on Tuesday.

I'm grateful to report that the pain I was having a month ago is gone.  This to me means the chemo must be working.  I have been extremely tired and fatigued over the past 2 weeks.  I don't have much of an appetite, feel nauseated often and have even been too tired to work out, which drives me nuts since I was doing so good with working out every day before chemo.  

The past week I've been dealing with a kidney infection, but seem to be feeling better today since the antibiotics have kicked in.  Sometimes I want to whine and complain, but that won't make this better. Last night I had a patient who was autistic and the mother told me she had 3 other children who had autistic tendencies.  She was so patient with her daughter and it helped me realize my trials are minimal in comparison to hers.  

Some of my favorite quotes from Stake Conference:

~When trials come ask, 'what can I learn from this experience,' don't ask why me.  

~The Lord expects us to press on.  After tribulations come the blessings.  Never give up the goal to press forward towards your eternal journey.  

~No one is immune from the adversaries presence.  The primary objective through our trials is to become changed.  We will be humbled as we go through our trials.

~Accept the blessings that we don't want.  Don't reject the blessings we don't want.  When blessings don't come immediately we either turn towards or away from the Lord; Turn towards Him.  Heavenly Father's blessings are a great paycheck.

~We can feel God loves us in our suffering.  He is there because we can feel him.  When prayers aren't answered as quickly remember this question, To whom will we go?

~If there was not a God, there wouldn't be hope.  

~God seeks our individual happiness.  

~We become Gods by doing Godly things.  

~To have faith in Heavenly Father, we must trust Him.  With His help we can succeed.  Trusting God will bring us great blessings.  Trust that He knows what is best for us.

Here are a few more quotes that spoke to me in different places:  

"If we will just put our faith and trust in our Lord, knowing we don't understand everything that happens in our life, and remember to thank Him for the many blessings we do have, He will show us the way.  Now, it might not happen on our timetable, but I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for each one of us." Sister Maynes CES Fireside

"The question is not whether we will experience seasons of adversity but how we will weather the storms."  Dieter F. Uchtdorf.

I think that say's it all.  I must whether this storm and hope and pray that it goes away soon and most of all have trust in Heavenly Father and his plan for me.  I want so badly for this cancer to  just go away, but I really am learning that I am strong and can do hard things.  There is always someone who has it harder.