For the rest of my life, January 25 will always be a day that I remember my childhood friend Jenny N. We met in kindergarten. She was in Mrs. McDonalds class with Tyler and I was in Mrs. Shae's class. We went to school out at the old Greenhurst school. We were in most of the same classes through elementary, junior high, and high school. We even took an aerobic instructors class together in college. I never remember Jenny every saying anything unkind or negative except our senior year when she didn't play basketball, because she said it was too time consuming. I miss her curls, her cheeks when she smiled, and the twinkle in her left eye. The day of her funeral was cold and cloudy. I remember commenting on this to my mom, that funerals were always cold and cloudy. She said, but the sunshine always seems to come out at some point. So on my way back to SLC, I remember crying my eyes out and as we driving through Twinfalls, sun rays beamed out through the clouds. I remember thinking, that is Jenny saying, I'm fine, don't worry about me. So anytime I see that, I think of her. I remember when we were in Hawaii the sun rays beamed through the clouds and I thought of her. Every time I go home, I hope to run into her mom, which more than often I do. I am so sad for her, but hope that she knows that Jenny hasn't been forgotten, nor will she ever. So this is to you my dear friend Jenny and to all of the fantastic memories that I will always cherish.
I love Sunday's. I always have. I loved them so much as a child that I actually would come home from church and play church with my siblings being the pianist, primary president, and teacher. I once was debating on taking a job in which I would have to work 2 Sunday's a month. Sister Green a missionary in the singles ward asked me where I got most of my prayers answered. I told her it was usually in my church meetings. She said, "There's your answer then." Today was one of those days where answers to my prayers were fulfilled during my Sunday meetings. It wasn't any thing major or dramatic, just a feeling of peace and a greater understanding that I am a Daughter of a Heavenly Father who knows me, loves me, and only wants the very best for me. Today's meeting theme was our Heavenly Father and Heavenly Homes. I enjoyed it so much. It gave me an opportunity to not only focus on my Heavenly Father, but on my earthly father as well.
The following quote by President Kimball was in the ward bulletin and came up in both Sacrament meeting and RS. "At the Grand Council we also learned the purpose for our progression: to have a fulness of joy. However, we also learned that some would be deceived, choose other paths, and lose their way. We learned that all of us would have trials in our lives: sickness, disappointment, pain, sorrow, and death. But we understood that these would be given to us for our experience and our good. If we allowed them to, these trials would purify us rather than defeat us. They would teach us to have endurance, patience, and charity." This gives me comfort in knowing that as I experience obstacles and trials in my life, Heavenly Father is aware of me and molding me into who He already knows I can become. I have never thought of trials as being purifying though. I think so many times we only focus on why we are having to go through certain uncomfortable instances, instead of being grateful for our trials and not someone elses.
In Sacrament meeting the High Council speaker gave an amazing talk on marriage. I always get so much out of these talks even though I am single. But today he said exactly what I was thinking about all day yesterday. He addressed each one of us in the congregation rather single or married, He said, "The adversary has come up with all kinds of reasons why we shouldn't be married. In the beginning Satan had another plan, different than our Heavenly Father's which is 'to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man' to reach eternal life we must be married by the right authority in the right place. It is still Satan's plan to persuade those he can every chance he gets, to turn away from the idea of marriage, because if he does, he can destroy the progress of Heavenly Father's children. He knows if he can prevent a marriage, he can prevent a family, if he can destroy a marriage, he can prevent the family unit from progressing, therefore destroying Heavenly Father's plan." When I was in grad school I was sitting in the class room looking at the a picture of what someone thought was art. I don't remember what was being taught, but I will never forget the distinct impression that I had, that the adversary would use my education and career as best he could to prevent me from fulfilling Heavenly Father's desire for me to be a wife and a mother. I am grateful for that moment of awareness and instruction and am fully aware of Satan's desire for me to destroy Heavenly Father's plan for me, but the light is always stronger than the dark. And because I have a body, I am stronger than the adversary.
Today is my dad's birthday. I was blessed with the greatest dad ever. One thing I know for sure, is that he loves my mother. I have never heard him raise his voice to her. He respects her, he cares for her, he serves her, he loves her. For that I am grateful for. He is not a man of many words, but when he talks you better listen up so you don't miss something wonderful. So here's to you dad. Thank you for helping me become this person that I am, for supporting me through many years of schooling not only financially but emotionally too, and for encouraging me to be the best me that I can. Just a few weeks ago, the night before my recertification boards, I called home. Dad answered and as soon as he did, I became that frightened, insecure little girl and started to cry. In the way that he always has he said, "You will be fine, you have the knowledge that you need to pass your exams. Don't worry about it." He has always had the faith in me that I sometimes have lacked and has always given me strength to keep going. When I have made mistakes he has picked me up, dusted me off, and given me the direction that I needed to get me back to where I belonged. Thank you dad for teaching me to love Boise State Football. Although I am clear across the country I feel close to you when Boise State plays! My dad hasn't taught me how to live, he has lived and let me watch him do it. I love you dad.
2009 was a wonderful year full of memories, challenges, and fun...Memorable vacations which allowed me to strengthen family relationships, a sweet precious niece so fresh from Heaven, a calling that has helped me grow to love the sisters in my ward, the ending of a wonderful company after 26 years, the development of friendships obtainable because of having time to develop and strengthening them, a Handsome Southern Man who has brought me so much joy in such a short time, and many more invaluable opportunities for growth.
Is it really true that someone can come into your life and change you? Maybe it isn't so much as a change but more of bringing out in me things that have been stored away for way too long. This really has happened to me. Before I left for Christmas I told Nickalaus that my family was going to see this and they immediately did. It isn't that I haven't been happy, because I have, but my sister said, "It is a different kind of happy." A different happy indeed. My Aunt Cindy has always said, "it" comes along when you least expect it. Well, she was right on this one. It came along when I was busy with my calling, getting ready to take my boards, and merging with a new company. But he is so worth it. In the very beginning he said to me, "You deserve it, you are worth it, just enjoy it." Who says that? Someone one definitely worth the wait...
I am so excited for 2010 to see what amazing things this year will bring. Wonder, surprise, more growth, and even more happiness? I'll keep you updated.
I'm a daughter, sister, favorite auntie, friend, physician assistant, lover of candy, tulips, fruit, a good salad, traveling adventures, a good book, style, flip flops, spinach shakes, Boise State Football and cooking, who happened to be diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer in June 2013 and will fight like no other to live a positive, happy, vibracious, exciting life as a survivor and overcomer!