I have learned in life it's about the little things that really matter. Like the morning phone call to say, "Did you sleep well...and Hope you have a good day." Or the phone call that says, "I'm going to bed and just wanted you to know I am home safe." Or the good bye hug, because it might just be the last...you hope not, but you never know. Or the kiss that you really want to give the other person, but you don't because why you might just enjoy it?
A 30 year old Dr. that I worked with for a short time passed away last week of Sudden Cardiac Death. She was very healthy, active, and lived her life to the fullest. She was living her dream and all of a sudden that dream was cut short. This has really opened my eyes to focusing on the things that really matter, because someday, it just might be to late to do what I was going to do when I got around to doing it. It's the little things like visiting teaching that seems like you never have time for. Or writing down your feelings in a blog. Or sending an email or calling a friend that you haven't talked to in a while. But it really is about the day to day things that we CHOOSE to focus on and do that really matter. It is where and how we decide to spend our time. It is the things that we say or don't say. It is about living each moment of each day as if it were your last. I wonder if we really lived like this if every day would be the best day ever. It's not only telling people how we feel, but showing them as well; making them feel and letting them know that they are the most important to us every moment of every day.
I had a conversation with my mom today regarding Elder Bednar's recent conference talk on how people say the only time they tell their family members they love them is over the pulpit, which is totally wrong. I tell my family I love them at the end of every phone converstaion. Even if I already have talked to them 5 times that day. I don't know why people have such a hard time with telling someone they love them. Sometimes I actually have to refrain from saying I love you at the end of a conversation with someone besides my family because I am so use to saying it. In the movie Dan In Real Life, which is a great show if you haven't seen it, they say "Love is an ability, not a feeling." I actually agree to an extent but disagree with this statement too. Love is an ability, but it is also a feeling. It is amazing to me how when a new grandbaby is born into our family all of a sudden I have this amazing new love for this little one. And when you spend time with people you develop a feeling of love for them, regardless if it is a romantic or friendship love. So, really, this statement that love isn't a feeling is wrong, because it is both an ability and a feeling. So I wonder, why is it that society tells us that it is so bad to act on these feelings? Is it because we just might get more love in return? And tell me what is so bad about that? The wonderful feeling that we have when we know that someone loves us and that we are cared for by another individual, is really a great thing and makes us know what true happiness is really about. I belive it is also about spending time with those we love, which makes me often wonder why I am still out here away from those I really love. Maybe it is so that I can learn to love other people and show love to other's who might just be in need of a little more love in their life.
I think the two Authors said it best:
If I Had My Life to Live Over
a letter written by Nadine Stair at age 85
If I had my life to live over, I'd dare to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax; I'd limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I'm one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after the other, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had it to do over again, I would travel lighter than I have.
If I had my life to live over again, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dance; I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.
And my Favorite:
If I Had My Life To Live Over
The following was written by the late Erma Bombeck
after she found out she had a fatal disease.
If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorrys" ...
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it...and never give it back.
© Erma Bombeck
So Maybe it is time for me to take this advice and live in the here and now, not the future or the past.