It's About the Little Things

I have learned in life it's about the little things that really matter. Like the morning phone call to say, "Did you sleep well...and Hope you have a good day." Or the phone call that says, "I'm going to bed and just wanted you to know I am home safe." Or the good bye hug, because it might just be the last...you hope not, but you never know. Or the kiss that you really want to give the other person, but you don't because why you might just enjoy it?
A 30 year old Dr. that I worked with for a short time passed away last week of Sudden Cardiac Death. She was very healthy, active, and lived her life to the fullest. She was living her dream and all of a sudden that dream was cut short. This has really opened my eyes to focusing on the things that really matter, because someday, it just might be to late to do what I was going to do when I got around to doing it. It's the little things like visiting teaching that seems like you never have time for. Or writing down your feelings in a blog. Or sending an email or calling a friend that you haven't talked to in a while. But it really is about the day to day things that we CHOOSE to focus on and do that really matter. It is where and how we decide to spend our time. It is the things that we say or don't say. It is about living each moment of each day as if it were your last. I wonder if we really lived like this if every day would be the best day ever. It's not only telling people how we feel, but showing them as well; making them feel and letting them know that they are the most important to us every moment of every day.

I had a conversation with my mom today regarding Elder Bednar's recent conference talk on how people say the only time they tell their family members they love them is over the pulpit, which is totally wrong. I tell my family I love them at the end of every phone converstaion. Even if I already have talked to them 5 times that day. I don't know why people have such a hard time with telling someone they love them. Sometimes I actually have to refrain from saying I love you at the end of a conversation with someone besides my family because I am so use to saying it. In the movie Dan In Real Life, which is a great show if you haven't seen it, they say "Love is an ability, not a feeling." I actually agree to an extent but disagree with this statement too. Love is an ability, but it is also a feeling. It is amazing to me how when a new grandbaby is born into our family all of a sudden I have this amazing new love for this little one. And when you spend time with people you develop a feeling of love for them, regardless if it is a romantic or friendship love. So, really, this statement that love isn't a feeling is wrong, because it is both an ability and a feeling. So I wonder, why is it that society tells us that it is so bad to act on these feelings? Is it because we just might get more love in return? And tell me what is so bad about that? The wonderful feeling that we have when we know that someone loves us and that we are cared for by another individual, is really a great thing and makes us know what true happiness is really about. I belive it is also about spending time with those we love, which makes me often wonder why I am still out here away from those I really love. Maybe it is so that I can learn to love other people and show love to other's who might just be in need of a little more love in their life.

I think the two Authors said it best:

If I Had My Life to Live Over
a letter written by Nadine Stair at age 85

If I had my life to live over, I'd dare to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax; I'd limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after the other, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had it to do over again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over again, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dance; I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.

And my Favorite:

If I Had My Life To Live Over
The following was written by the late Erma Bombeck
after she found out she had a fatal disease.

If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorrys" ...

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it...and never give it back.

© Erma Bombeck

So Maybe it is time for me to take this advice and live in the here and now, not the future or the past.

Time

Time...I know I have written about this before but it's time to write about it again. This time though it is about making time for the important things in our life. We waste so much time doing things that ultimately don't matter. I think I pretty much have wasted today doing things that really didn't need to be done and the only thing I did for myself was go to the gym and study my scriptures. Sometimes you do and do and do for people and you wonder if it means anything to them. And so then I think to myself, maybe it is just better being selfish and worrying about my needs, but then is that Christ like? So in my venting session here I am wondering if I need to refocus on what is really important and work on those things that are beneficial and quit spending my oh so precious time on things that I thought mattered. But I guess then, it is up to me to determine what is really worth spending my time on and I guess you could say spending my time with too...

To My Friend Jenny N

For the rest of my life, January 25 will always be a day that I remember my childhood friend Jenny N. We met in kindergarten. She was in Mrs. McDonalds class with Tyler and I was in Mrs. Shae's class. We went to school out at the old Greenhurst school. We were in most of the same classes through elementary, junior high, and high school. We even took an aerobic instructors class together in college. I never remember Jenny every saying anything unkind or negative except our senior year when she didn't play basketball, because she said it was too time consuming. I miss her curls, her cheeks when she smiled, and the twinkle in her left eye. The day of her funeral was cold and cloudy. I remember commenting on this to my mom, that funerals were always cold and cloudy. She said, but the sunshine always seems to come out at some point. So on my way back to SLC, I remember crying my eyes out and as we driving through Twinfalls, sun rays beamed out through the clouds. I remember thinking, that is Jenny saying, I'm fine, don't worry about me. So anytime I see that, I think of her. I remember when we were in Hawaii the sun rays beamed through the clouds and I thought of her. Every time I go home, I hope to run into her mom, which more than often I do. I am so sad for her, but hope that she knows that Jenny hasn't been forgotten, nor will she ever. So this is to you my dear friend Jenny and to all of the fantastic memories that I will always cherish.

Happy Birthday Dad!

I love Sunday's. I always have. I loved them so much as a child that I actually would come home from church and play church with my siblings being the pianist, primary president, and teacher. I once was debating on taking a job in which I would have to work 2 Sunday's a month. Sister Green a missionary in the singles ward asked me where I got most of my prayers answered. I told her it was usually in my church meetings. She said, "There's your answer then." Today was one of those days where answers to my prayers were fulfilled during my Sunday meetings. It wasn't any thing major or dramatic, just a feeling of peace and a greater understanding that I am a Daughter of a Heavenly Father who knows me, loves me, and only wants the very best for me. Today's meeting theme was our Heavenly Father and Heavenly Homes. I enjoyed it so much. It gave me an opportunity to not only focus on my Heavenly Father, but on my earthly father as well.

The following quote by President Kimball was in the ward bulletin and came up in both Sacrament meeting and RS. "At the Grand Council we also learned the purpose for our progression: to have a fulness of joy. However, we also learned that some would be deceived, choose other paths, and lose their way. We learned that all of us would have trials in our lives: sickness, disappointment, pain, sorrow, and death. But we understood that these would be given to us for our experience and our good. If we allowed them to, these trials would purify us rather than defeat us. They would teach us to have endurance, patience, and charity." This gives me comfort in knowing that as I experience obstacles and trials in my life, Heavenly Father is aware of me and molding me into who He already knows I can become. I have never thought of trials as being purifying though. I think so many times we only focus on why we are having to go through certain uncomfortable instances, instead of being grateful for our trials and not someone elses.

In Sacrament meeting the High Council speaker gave an amazing talk on marriage. I always get so much out of these talks even though I am single. But today he said exactly what I was thinking about all day yesterday. He addressed each one of us in the congregation rather single or married, He said, "The adversary has come up with all kinds of reasons why we shouldn't be married. In the beginning Satan had another plan, different than our Heavenly Father's which is 'to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man' to reach eternal life we must be married by the right authority in the right place. It is still Satan's plan to persuade those he can every chance he gets, to turn away from the idea of marriage, because if he does, he can destroy the progress of Heavenly Father's children. He knows if he can prevent a marriage, he can prevent a family, if he can destroy a marriage, he can prevent the family unit from progressing, therefore destroying Heavenly Father's plan." When I was in grad school I was sitting in the class room looking at the a picture of what someone thought was art. I don't remember what was being taught, but I will never forget the distinct impression that I had, that the adversary would use my education and career as best he could to prevent me from fulfilling Heavenly Father's desire for me to be a wife and a mother. I am grateful for that moment of awareness and instruction and am fully aware of Satan's desire for me to destroy Heavenly Father's plan for me, but the light is always stronger than the dark. And because I have a body, I am stronger than the adversary.

Today is my dad's birthday. I was blessed with the greatest dad ever. One thing I know for sure, is that he loves my mother. I have never heard him raise his voice to her. He respects her, he cares for her, he serves her, he loves her. For that I am grateful for. He is not a man of many words, but when he talks you better listen up so you don't miss something wonderful. So here's to you dad. Thank you for helping me become this person that I am, for supporting me through many years of schooling not only financially but emotionally too, and for encouraging me to be the best me that I can. Just a few weeks ago, the night before my recertification boards, I called home. Dad answered and as soon as he did, I became that frightened, insecure little girl and started to cry. In the way that he always has he said, "You will be fine, you have the knowledge that you need to pass your exams. Don't worry about it." He has always had the faith in me that I sometimes have lacked and has always given me strength to keep going. When I have made mistakes he has picked me up, dusted me off, and given me the direction that I needed to get me back to where I belonged. Thank you dad for teaching me to love Boise State Football. Although I am clear across the country I feel close to you when Boise State plays! My dad hasn't taught me how to live, he has lived and let me watch him do it. I love you dad.