My trip to Seattle wasn't what I expected. I definitely did have some of the expectations that came from it, but not all. I expected that it was going to probably be the last time I went there in my relationship with HM, but I wasn't expecting to go there to be a detective, which I ended up being.
It's always sad when relationships end, but worse when you lose respect for someone you thought you knew. I've wondered what it was that I was suppose to learn in this relationship. HM would tell me often that he was learning so much from dating me. And even as we said goodbye he reminded me that he had learned so much from me like grace, endurance, faith, etc. But I kept asking myself what I was suppose to learn from this. As I've pondered the last week I've realized I have learned a few things.
~Over the past several months I've been repeating the quote by President Hinckley that says, "Be true to who you are and the family name you bear." Mostly the "Be true to who you are" kept going through my mind. I realized that I wasn't being true to who I was when I told HM I was ok with him not being of my religion. I had hope that someday he would see how much my religion means to me and want to know more, even though he always told me he wasn't going to join my church.
~Long distance only works if both are willing to work on it and not just one.
~Trust is a huge factor in every relationship, even if it is only a friendship.
~If you lie, you will always get caught, which is why I always tell the truth.
~I've really never been one for blonds, I'm a tall, dark and handsome kind of girl.
~The biggest lesson I learned was that if someone hurts me, it hurts me even more if I'm mean and try to hurt the other person. However through this, I've also become more reliant on the Atonement and am so grateful that I can repent of my weaknesses.
An hour before this all went down on our way to the Mariners game, Nick called me. I told him about HM and that it was ending. He said the sweetest thing to me, "You will always be the girl who got away." It definitely gave me the confidence that I needed to patiently and kindly do what I needed to do.