Discovery

I've come to discover that life isn't always a pretty picture, even though I think it should be.  It's not all or nothing.  It's a little bit of everything good and bad, happy and sad mixed into one life.  The good, the exciting, the sadness, the heartbreaking, the laughter, the depressing, the beauty, the frustrating.  Life is comparable to a recipe for my favorite pumpkin zucchini muffins, where many ingredients bring deliciousness.  When looking at the bigger picture, I've discovered that all ingredients of life mixed together bring about beauty and fulfillment.

Over the past 3 months I've discovered...

~How much I love my job and working with other PA's.  I love what I do and am so grateful for the blessings of the talents I've been given to care for others.  It is so much better being on the provider side than the patient side, even though I did have great providers who took care of me.  My co-workers and I have so much fun and laugh a lot as we work together.  I've been friends with other's that I've worked with, but these people are great and I think that since going through what I've gone through over the past year we all appreciate each other a little more.  They all knew how much pain I was in a year ago when I couldn't sit because of my back pain.  My nurse even commented recently how I use to lay on an ice pack between patients.  I've discovered through my illness that life can take a turn, but being positive can get us through anything.

~I can fall in love with not just 1 person but 3.  I've always thought it takes years to be where I am in my relationship with Mr. J, but I've discovered that it doesn't.

~It is so nice to be able to button my pants and run without being in pain.  The things you take for granted every day are things I've come to appreciate.

~Working out 5-6 days a week may not get you into skinny jeans, but the endorphins  and joy that come with it and sense of accomplishment are worth the hour or so at the gym.

~Primary is where it is!  I love subbing with Mr. J and hearing the kids comments and listening to them sing.  I loved the song we learned in primary and how Mr. J put put his arm around my waist as we sang a song about families.

~A new favorite author Tracie Hunter Abramson who mixes romance and mystery all together which makes for a great read.

~Cooking for a family can be expensive, but when you think about it it's really cheaper than going out and much healthier.  I'm loving cooking for Mr. J and hearing how much he loves what I cook.

~How much I need the feelings in my hands.  I've had enough patience, but I need the feeling to come back.  It is so frustrating to have them numb all the time.

~How much I love sitting next to a handsome hunk, who holds my hand or puts his arm around me in church!

~How much I miss playing the organ.  I'm excited to sub next week.  I was able to play a little after sacrament meeting today.  It brings me such joy and happiness to be able to use my talents.

~How much I really do miss the season change from Winter to Spring.  I'm excited to go home in 2 weeks to see the tulips and buds on the trees.

~That short hair is super easy and can be fun, but how much I really miss doing my hair and wearing a pony tail.  Mr. J commented last night on how fast my hair has grown in the past 3 months, I wonder what it will look like in 3 more months.

~I miss having a good girl friend that I can drop in on when I want to have a girl chat.  I haven't found one here or really had the time to, but I know it will come.  I'm so glad I have my cousins, but wish we lived closer.  It's just not the same talking with my girlfriends over the phone, especially when my hands go numb from holding it to my ear.

~Having an aunt to tell all about my romance with Mr. J is priceless.  She is just as excited as I am.  She gives me a lot of good advice and lets me share my happiness every night.  She said to me that she loves having a front seat to my romance.

~That people can change and become better because of the things they have learned in life.

~I've never been a hiker, but I'm totally loving it and discovering new trails.  I'm excited to hike in Utah where it is much prettier than Arizona.

~That skype can bring such excitement to us each Sunday as we visit with my family!

~I still need my mom's advice and help, even over the phone with recipe's and what I should buy or not.  I'm sure I talked to my mom at least 5 times yesterday.  I'm so grateful for her.

I must share with you my Aunt Lesli's Pumpkin Zucchini muffin's which I eat every day.  I actually think this is my cousin Jennifer's recipe, but Aunt Leslie makes them for me every few weeks.

This makes 24 muffins or 2 loaf pans:
3 Cups Whole Wheat Flour
1 Cup White Flour
2 t Salt
3 t Baking Powder
2 t Cinnamon
1 t Ginger or pumpkin pie spice
2 1/2 C Sugar
1/ 2 C Butter
1/2 C Applesauce
4 Eggs
1 C Milk
1 1/2 Cups Zucchini grated (squeeze out the juice)
1 Can (small) Pumpkin
Semi Sweet Chocolate Chips (maybe 1 cup)

Mix all dry ingredients plug sugar, add wet ingredients.  Bake at 350 for 18 minutes or so

An Easter and more Fabulous Friday!

1.  Yes you get 2 weeks of FF!  It has been a fabulous 2 weeks.  I can't believe this week has sped by so quickly.  Easter celebrations were such fun with Mr. J and his Little A's.  I had so much fun shopping for them!  I got up early Sunday morning and headed over, but not before Mr. J had to tell the little A's that the Easter Bunny did come, but he had to put the baskets away until I got there.  It was fun to see their excitement to what the Easter Bunny brought.  My mom always made Easter and every holiday so much fun for us, so of course I have to follow in her footsteps

We had sticky buns and fruit for breakfast.  Mr. J looks awesome in his kitchen attire that his mom made for him!

Mr. J kisses my forehead a lot.  I think it is so cute!

2.  Easter Dinner was so much fun with my cousins, including new baby Bravery.  She is darling.  It was fun to see Little Girl A and Mr. J holding her.  I love the way she was crossing her arms and stretching her cute little arms.  I wish I would have gotten a close up, this baby is so beautiful!  I love this picture.  I think it is so precious.

 We used china, silver and the crystal!  Mr. J brought me this lily which was perfect for our center piece.

 The kids had fun eating outside, where the weather was perfect!

 Jackson is a doll!  I know a lot of cute 3 year olds!

 Do you see our garden behind these cute guys?  I can't believe we already have produce growing here in April!

 I made a coconut cake!  Deliciousness for sure!

 Of course we had an Easter Egg Hunt!

 I got the Little A's bike shirts because they have been learning how to ride their bikes!

3.  I scored big time on after Easter candy at Target yesterday!  Of course I'll be bringing it with me on our long flight to Europe in just 5 weeks!
4.  Wednesday when Mr. J and I had lunch on the patio, while waiting for our meal out of the blue he say's, "you are so pretty."  Made me smile really big, because I admit I don't feel so pretty with boy hair.
5.  The A/C unit in my house in CLT went out, boo...but I have a great connection who was able to put a new one in for much cheaper than if someone else was to do it.  I'm grateful for Nick and all that he does to help me with that house.  I'm always torn between if I should sell it or keep it as a rental.
6.  We got plane tickets to Boise....Mr. J is coming home with me for Mother's Day.  I can't wait to show him off and to spend 4 days with him where we don't have to go to work!
7.  2 weeks ago my cousins came for dinner.  3 year old Jackson needed stitches removed, my medical team was awesome at assisting me!

8.  This morning I picked my friend Holly up from where she was staying just down the street.  I brought her back to my place where we had spinach shakes and toast out on the swing.  It was fun to sit and chat with her before I took her to the airport.
9.  I am still working out 5-6 days a week.  I increased my weight lifting this week.  It makes me feel so good!  I am going to miss my cycle teacher, given the fact that I am going to start working days for the next 4 weeks, which means I will have to get up and go to the gym and cycle class at 5:45.  I've loved working 1:30-10:00.  I have great evening nurses!
10.  Twice this week I've been able to get off at 7:00 because we have been short nurses.  Wednesday evening it was fun to play Sorry with the kids and then to read from the Book Of Mormon stories before they went to bed.
11.  Tonight Mr. J picked me up from work.  He took me to the Cheesecake factory where I had the most delicious salad.  Then we laughed while watching Dan In Real Life.  We both agreed it was so fun to have a Friday night date.

Easter

After surviving Ovarian Cancer, Easter means so much more to me this year.  I've never understood as much or been as grateful for the Atonement and the Resurrection as I have come to learn this past year.  I'm ever so grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ, His Birth, His Life, His Example, His Atonement and His Resurrection.  If there is one thing I've learned this past year it is that the Atonement is real and is more than just for sin.  In the Garden Of Gethsemane our Savior suffered for our pains, our sicknesses, our heartaches and our disappointments.  In those moments of illness and pain when I felt no one could possibly understand what I was going though, it was then that I felt the sweet assurance and peace that the one person who did know exactly was my Savior.  In those moments when I felt I couldn't take anymore I felt Him lighten the heavy burdens from my shoulders and shower me with peace and love.

With the Passing of my Grandpa this past year, I've reflected on the Resurrection a little more this Easter Day.  I'm grateful to know that I will see him again someday.  That his body will be reunited with his spirit and that he will be the same person as he was when he left his mortal journey.

Today as I skyped my parents my mom said that she was grateful that I am alive.  It brought tears to my eyes, knowing that in my darkest hours of pain and illness that Heavenly Father could have easily taken me back to Him.  How grateful I am to have life and to be living in this moment.

We had stake conference today which was a neat way to spend Easter Morning.  One talk stood out to me so much about how we do everything in the gospel 1 time, baptism, blessings and such, but we partake weekly of the Sacrament to remind us of our Savior, the covenants we have made and to be a witness of Him in our daily lives.

It was fun for me to spend from sun up to sun down with Mr. J and his little A's.  Easter is even more fun with kids!  I enjoyed teaching the little A's a little about what the true meaning of Easter is and sharing my testimony with them.  (I'll fill you in all the rest of the day's event on FF; and yes I know I skipped this weeks, but I'll catch you up on Friday, so stay tuned!) Oh, and yes I have the best Aunt Leslie and Uncle Gordon ever.  Happy Anniversary to you love birds.  So grateful for them and their grapefruit tree's!

CA 125 Update

I forgot to mention last week that I got my CA 125 results from when I was home:  less than 6!  That is less than ever!  It means that is is basically 0.  Yesterday I was thinking about how so so-real this past year has been.  It's crazy to think that I went through cancer, chemo, surgeries and am now back to working and my normal life.  I'm happier and feel healthier than ever before!

Now if this hair would just grow quicker, that would be nice...

I'm feeling like my hair looks like the teenage boy who is being rebellious and doesn't want to cut his hair, because that is exactly what my hair looks like; bad.  But it also has the older man look too, curl that is slightly wavy/frizzy; ugly.  If I don't have gel in my hair it's a bad thing.  I'm going to try the Emma look today (fohawk like), her hair always looks cute, we shall see what happens...ok so I don't have a close up of her hair, but this is what I found of you Emma, including one of my favorite RS activities(last one)!

Monday, Monday

You know the song, Monday Monday by the Mamas and the Papas?  I've got the tune in my mind.  It is a beautiful day here in Phoenix, low 70's, wind blowing and I'm sitting out on the swing listening to the wind chimes, which I love the sound of.  I'm glad it is cool, because Mr. J works outside all day and it was a very hot day on Friday when he pulled a 15 hour day.  Mr. J....ahhhhhh! We had a great weekend!  If I'm not working or he isn't working we are together.  I love it!  I said to him on Saturday, "I've always wanted to find a man who wanted to spend every moment of every day with me, even though I didn't (because I need my space).  I've found him.  But we both agreed that we have enough space when we work and then we want to be with each other when we can!  I'm pretty sure we will be just fine come Summer when I go to MVY, because I just got my schedule unbeknownst to him yet and I have an entire week off in July, which means I will have an entire week with him either in MVY or Utah!  Mom and Tenielle are already planning on me coming to Utah.  We shall see.

In other news...I am developing an awful chest cold, which I'm afraid is going to develop in to pneumonia.  I'm hoping not, but it is totally in my chest and it really hurts to cough.  Yes, I still went to the gym and did cycle this morning and yes Mr. J and I are still kissing.  I mean really if I have it I'm sure he will get it, even though I hope he doesn't.

I'm excited for Easter Weekend!  I got the cutest yellow dress for Little Girl A and a matching yellow and navy blue tie for Little Boy A.  It's going to be such a great weekend!  Let's hope this week passes quickly!

There is a fun run in Boise called Boise's Got Faith, to support 2 sweet girls who have had cancer on May 4.  This was started a few years ago by a guy I went to High School with because his niece Faith fought cancer and won!  I wish I could be there but I can't.  They are ordering shirts today and I love what they say, "It takes Faith to conquer Cancer."  If you can go, sign up and run for me!

Homage FF

1.  It was so good to be home last weekend, to be around my siblings, sister-in-laws, nieces and nephew's and my parents.  It is always crazy loud when we are together, but we always have a great time together!  Look at this hair!  It's coming in!  I'm so ready for more of it!

Aidree and Bridget's way of watching General Conference.  We do a lot of dancing and putting on makeup when we are together!

2.  Saturday after the first session of conference we had a girls lunch with Grandma Betty, Grandpa Randy's sister, Tanner's girl and her mom. We always go to Cafe De CoCo which is in downtown Nampa, where Grandma Betty and I always get the ever so unhealthy, but delicious oatmeal with gelato!  Tristen ordered us desert, 5 different ones and we passed them around so all could partake.  Grandma Betty is the best and we always enjoy our time with her.  We went around the table and said one thing that we were looking forward to.  I of course said I was looking forward to my trip to Europe and the future.  Mom said she was looking forward to a wedding.  I wonder who's wedding she was talking about.  I sure love these women in my life.  I'm so grateful for the relationships that we have.

3.  Saturday afternoon I made Gumbo!  It was yummy, even though I wasn't really hungry.  That evening I spent time with my swimming sisters.  One will be moving to Texas this Summer which will be so sad, but we will stay in touch of course!  It was so fun to sit and chat for over 2 hours!
4.  While I was in Idaho Mr. J and I skyped for 3 hours.  I can't get enough of that handsome man, even when I'm in Idaho!
5. I have always loved rain boots and was so happy that all of my nieces and nephews got a pair this season.  Had to take some pictures with them!

6.  Monday evening I was so happy to be home after work to spend time with Mr. J.  I really did miss him.  How we will be apart this Summer for 3 months is beyond me.
7.  Yesterday when I got home from the gym I had a text from Mr. J asking me if I wanted to do lunch (We had to forgo our Wednesday hike and lunch because he had some work to do). Of course!  I was ready in 20 minutes. We only had an hour, but we made the most of it!!!!
8.  I love Pandora Radio.  I put in Philip Philips this morning because I like him.  It's a great station.  I also like Today's Country.  I'm always looking for new songs to add to my workout regimen.
9.  Speaking of working out, this morning I ran 4 miles because I woke 10 minutes too late for my cycle class, which means I'll do cycle at 8am tomorrow.  It was super hot outside, but at the park that I run in the sprinklers were on, so I cooled down by running through them!
10.  As I type I'm sitting in my bathing suit in the backyard getting some rays...It's April folks and it's in the 90's.  I love it!
11.  I'm so excited for this weekend to spend with Mr. J and his Little A's.  I'm falling in love with these 3 people and I couldn't be happier!  I feel like I'm smiling all the time because of them!