Dr. P called yesterday to let me know that he received my CT scan from October and that he had reviewed it. The lymph node and cancer areas in the pelvis were not on the previous scan. He did notice that the mass between the rectal wall and vaginal wall was there, but small. Basically the mass is on the bowel which is devistating to me. He said they would do all they could to not have to give me another ileostomy. Remember that was the worst part of the entire ordeal last time. If you are praying for me can you pray specifically that the surgeon will be able to do surgery without having to perform an ileostomy?
Dr. P also said that I could wait to have surgery until mid August when my assignment here is finished. Of course I won't know this for sure until Friday when I meet with the surgeon, but this would be so helpful for me to get somethings in order. He also informed me that I will have to be out of work for 6-8 weeks; I was thinking maybe 2 weeks. I guess I thought wrong.
After talking with Dr. P I felt mad, a feeling that I never felt even when I was initially diagnosed. I was sad, but not mad. It is just so hard for me to understand why. I did have a tender mercy tonight as one of my patients was an oncologist at a very pretigious medical center. I talked with him about what I was going through and he informed me that they are finding as Dr. P said, that Mek inhibitors are working better on low grade serous ovarian cancer. This is promising. They are also finding that low grade is chemo resistant. Did you know that only 10 percent of OVC is low grade and slow growing, typically occuring in women less than 40? I read a study today that said, "Low grade OVC is characterized by young age at diagnosis, relative chemo resistant and prolonged overall survival." That's promising!
Last night after I poured my heart out to my Heavenly Father I got up and read my scriptures, opening up to where I had left off in Luke 1:37 I read, "For with God nothing shall be impossible." That was the answer to my prayers. I have great confidence that with God I can overcome this challenge.
My dear friend Pamela shared this on FB today, "Trials and tribulations tend to squeeze the artificiality out of us,
leaving the essence of what we really are and clarifying what we really
yearn for." (Neal A. Maxwell, Things As They Really Are, 1978) If that doesn't say it all, I don't know what does.
I received a sweet email from my Bishop today. It meant so much to me given he was just put in a few weeks ago and I haven't even met him. I know that he was called by God at this time to preside over our ward. I've been a little bummed at the fact that people have to be burdened by my trial, but he included a scripture that helped me realize that we are all here to help each other along when we have trials. James 5:16 “…pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”
I have been overwhelmed at the love, support, emails, phone calls and messages I've had over the past week. I truly have been blessed to be surrounded by so many people who love me. I feel so much love for my Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, my family and friends. I know that Heavenly Father hears my prayers and your prayers and that together I will be able to not only endure this trial, but also overcome it.