Sunday the following scripture was included in my parents Primary Program at church.
2 Nephi 27:23, "For behold, I am God; and I am a God of miracles; and I will show unto the world that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever; and I work not among the children of men save it be according to their faith."
This scripture say's it all. That God is a God of Miracles, but that he only works those miracles according to our faith. I believe this scripture, but I also wonder if God has a different plan than I have for myself, then will I not see the miracle that I hope for, even if I have faith?
It's a questions that has played out in my mind over the past few months. But as I question this, it deepens my faith in my Heavenly Father as my will becomes His.
The last few months can only be described as frustrating. I'm frustrated that I don 't see an end to chemo, that I'm doing this all over again, that I have cancer even though I can't see it and feel fine (that is when I'm not having chemo), that I can't plan ahead, because of the unknown of when I will be finished with chemo and that I can't work.
I listen to a General Conference talk each night and it seems that each talk is directed to me and my situation. There are so many great talks. They all keep telling me to keep the faith and things will work out.
Some of my favorite quotes this week are:
"Mortal Life is not easy for any of us. We are placed on earth to be tried and tested. Our response to life's experiences will often greatly influence our testimonies...If you have been tempted to murmur, if you have had doubt that leads to unbelief, if trials seem more than you can bear, turn to Him. James B. Martino
"Our Savior experienced and suffered the fullness of all mortal challenges 'according to the flesh' so He could know 'according to the flesh' how to 'succor (which means to give relief or aid to) his people according to their infirmities.' He therefore knows our struggles, our heartaches, our temptations, and our suffering, for He willingly experienced them all as an essential part of His Atonement. And because of this, His Atonement empowers Him to succor us-to give us the strength to bear it all...And so we see that because of His Atonement, the Savior has the power to succor-to help-every mortal pain and affliction. Sometimes His power heals an infirmity, but the scriptures and our experiences teach that sometimes He succors or helps by giving us the strength or patience to endure our infirmities." Dallin H. Oaks
"Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is not something ethereal, floating loosely in the air. Faith does not fall upon us by chance or stay with us by birthright. Faith in Jesus Christ is a gift from heaven that comes as we choose to believe and as we seek it and hold on to it. Your faith is either growing stronger or becoming weaker. Faith is a principle of power, important not only in this life but also in our progression beyond the veil...The future of your faith is not by chance, but by choice....Faith never demands an answer to every question but seeks the assurance and courage to move forward." Neil L. Andersen
"I promise that each faith-filled step will be met with help from heaven. Guidance will come as we pray to our Heavenly Father, rely on our Savior and follow Him, and listen to the Holy Spirit. Strength will come because of the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Healing and forgiveness will come because of God's grace. Wisdom and patience will come by trusting in the Lord's timing for us. Protection will come by following God's living Prophet." Randall K. Bennett.
See, so many amazing quotes and promised blessing by having faith. I truly believe these words and know that Heavenly Father loves me and is aware of my every needs. I really am grateful for the patience and strength I have been given to endure the trials that I'm going through. The burden seems so much lighter than it should. I'm so grateful to have an army who pray for me and give me strength as they go through this battle along side me. Sometimes in order for us to grow and progress we are challenged and stretched, but it is only for our good so that we can become more like Him.