Two years ago today I finished chemo. Never on that day did I think 2 years from then I would be back to having chemo. I remember the sense of relief I had that day knowing I had finished a great task. I had full confidence that day that I wouldn't have to go through that trial again. But unfortunately I was wrong. I wonder what I would have changed if I had known then that I would be back at it again. I can honestly say I'd change nothing. I'd keep living every day to the fullest as I do and pressing forward.
Today in my biweekly mid-singles religion class where we are studying the Book Of Mormon, we talked about how many times in the scriptures the Lord repeats things 3 times. For example in 1 Nephi chapter 4, which is the chapter we explored today, Nephi tells his brothers in verse 1 "Let us go up and be faithful..." verse 2 "Let us go up and be strong" verse 3 "Let us go up; the lord is able to deliver us. A few verses down in 10 "I was constrained by the spirit that I should kill Laban" verse 11 "And the Spirit said unto me again; Behold the Lord hath delivered him into thy hands" verse 12 "The Spirit said unto me again: Slay him, for the Lord hath delivered him into they hands." And in verse 18 "Therefore I did obey the voice of the Spirit."
It is clear that in this chapter Nephi struggled with the commandment he was given. This was a trial of his faith, but he was obedient. The Lord told Nephi why it was important to kill Laban, vs. 13, "Behold the Lord slayeth the wicked to bring forth his righteous purposes. It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief."
As I sat in class I thought of the hard things that the Lord commanded of Nephi, but that how each of the trials that he went through prepared him for the next trial. I compared this to my life. I thought grad school was the hardest thing ever. Looking back it still was a pretty difficult time, but it prepared me for other trials, especially my cancer/chemo trial. It taught me that I can do hard things, to have patience and to rise above the challenge.
Is it easy? Not always, but it is definitely easier knowing the army that is behind me, the many prayers of faithful ones said in my behalf and especially that I have the Lord on my side. I will admit, it does makes me worry just a bit about what trials lie ahead given this is a pretty big trial.