This past week I attended the temple. As I sat in the celestial room I randomly opened to Abraham and read these words, "And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them."
The word Prove in this scripture seemed so powerful to me as I read and re-read it. It got me thinking that God is proving me through the trials that he has given me. He is trying me to see if I will be able to endure patiently and whole heartily and probably without complaining.
When I was diagnosed with cancer again you will recall in other posts that I wanted my will, even though I had no idea what Heavenly Father's will was. I still don't know his will, but after four months I confess that I've finally softened my heart and am aligning my will with whatever Heavenly Father's will is for me.
I'd have to say that my most favorite talk from this past General Conference was in the Saturday morning session by Neil F. Marriott 2nd counselor in the Young Women General Presidency. I love listening to this ladies southern voice, as it reminds me of all of my sweet southern friends back in CLT. Her talk was just what I needed. It was entitled Yielding Our Hearts To God. Some of my favorite quotes from this talk are as follows:
"How do we make the Lord's ways our ways? I believe we begin by learning of Him and praying for understanding. As our trust in Him grows, we open our hearts, seek to do His will, and wait for answers that will help us understand."
She quoted President Hinckley, "If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God...The Lord will not forsake us."
"Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good. This doesn't mean all things are good, but for the meek and faithful, things-both positive and negative-work together for good, and the timing is the Lord's. We wait on Him, sometimes like Job in his suffering...A meek heart accepts the trial and the waiting for the time of healing and wholeness to come. When we open ourselves to the Spirit, we learn God's ways and feel His will."
"The healing of our heart begins when we submit to and worship God. True worship begins when our hearts are right before the Father and the Son. What is our heart condition today? Paradoxically, in order to have a healed and faithful heart, we must first allow it to break before the Lord. 'Ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit,' the Lord declares. The result of sacrificing our heart, or our will, to the Lord is that we receive the spiritual guidance we need."
She quotes the lyrics of one of my favorite songs, "So trusting my all to they tender care, And knowing thou lovest me, I'll do they will with a heart sincere: I'll be what you want me to be."
And she ends with, "When we offer our broken heart to Jesus Christ, He accepts our offereing. He takes us back. No matter what losses, wounds, and rejections we have suffered, His grace and healing are mighter than all. Truly yoked to the Savior, we can say with confidence, It will all work out."
After listening to this talk again on Monday night, I was finally able to humble myself and soften my heart to Heavenly Father's will for me. He has a plan for me and I know He is with me. And so this week as I Ponderize the above scripture, I hope that as I struggle with the side effects that chemo will undoubtedly give me, that I can prove to Heavenly Father that I can do all things even if they are hard things, that He asks me to do.