Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Still Down...But Managing

I can't really give you anything exciting in this blog post.  I'm not really one to complain or put anything negative on my blog either.  But out of all honesty, this chemo treatment has literally kicked me to the curb.  Out of all exaggeration I feel at times like I might die, I hope I don't but this is so not fun.  My upper abdomen has been so tender and burning into my chest, my body is achy, I can't keep my eyes open for longer than a few hours and I'm extremely nauseated. It also doesn't help that my port is still so tender and bruised.  Oh and I might add that my taste buds are already shot.  Water doesn't even taste good.

For the last 4 days I wake up thinking, today is the day I'll feel back to being normal.  I get up, eat an egg and drink a spinach shake, get sick and go back to bed.  Yesterday I was determined to go to lunch to celebrate my 89 year old Step Grandmothers birthday.  Bad, bad decision.  It was all I could do to not puke at lunch.  And then I came home, took a Zofran and a 4 hour nap. 

I'm bummed that I am so exhausted and don't do much but sleep.  I absolutely hate wasting my day sleeping.  I typically only need 6-7 hours of sleep and I'm good.  Not these days though, more like 14-16 hours a day, such a waste of time.  There are so many books to be read and activities to do, however per my mother, I'm healing my body by sleeping. 

Today I was determined to get my butt out of the house and walk down to the elementary school which is not even 1/4 mile.  I did it, but barely made it back before I wanted to bring my breakfast up and crawl back into bed.  Last week I was jogging 4 miles a day.  Today I feel completely out of shape.

After a morning nap, a small salad and a few minutes in the sunshine, I must admit, I'm feeling a little better.  It could also be because my cute nieces came back from being out all morning dressed as cows to get their free meal at Chick-Fil-A and wanting to swim, which is exactly what I wish I felt like doing too.

I'm finding that I have to keep antiemetics in my body (even though I'm far from a pill popper) and eat frequent small meals, even though my appetite is totally shot.  I feel worse if I don't eat. 

I'm hoping that by tomorrow I'm back to myself, because I really want to be busy enjoying the last few days that my sister and nieces will be in town.  

I have 2 more days until I have another treatment.  Thankfully the medicine that I believe is making me sick, won't be the one I will have in 2 days.  At least I hope so.  I plan to return to MVY in 1 week and at this point there is no way that I can return feeling the way I do.  Let's pray for a miracle.


  1. I'm with your mama on this one, Terah! Sleep will help you feel better. :) I know I was on different chemo, but day six was my magic day of feeling better, so hopefully tomorrow you'll wake up feeling good as new! Hang tough my friend!

  2. Thanks, I remember you telling me how tired you always were and I wasn't super tired last time. Maybe I'm getting the same chemo you had that made you so tired. I'm hoping I feel better tomorrow. Just when I think I'm feeling well, all heck breaks loose and I'm back to feeling bad.

  3. I felt like all I did was sleep the year I did chemo. Absolutely no energy. Try to enjoy the quiet down time. Although I know that is not you.

    1. Today I finally feel like I have a little more energy! I'm trying to enjoy the rest, but there is just so much I want to accomplish!

  4. It must be so hard to have your mind made up with the goals you want to do, but a body that doesn't want to cooperate :(. Stay strong, my friend! Sorry this chemo has been super hard and taking a toll on you. You are in my thoughts and prayers!

  5. Terah I'm so sorry you have to go through this!! It makes me so mad!! But I'm also with mom, sleep sleep sleep, your body is trying to do what it needs to do. I know it is so hard because you are such a DOER!! How we all wish we could take this away from you but what we can do is pray pray pray!!! Know you are so loved!!