Still Down...But Managing

I can't really give you anything exciting in this blog post.  I'm not really one to complain or put anything negative on my blog either.  But out of all honesty, this chemo treatment has literally kicked me to the curb.  Out of all exaggeration I feel at times like I might die, I hope I don't but this is so not fun.  My upper abdomen has been so tender and burning into my chest, my body is achy, I can't keep my eyes open for longer than a few hours and I'm extremely nauseated. It also doesn't help that my port is still so tender and bruised.  Oh and I might add that my taste buds are already shot.  Water doesn't even taste good.

For the last 4 days I wake up thinking, today is the day I'll feel back to being normal.  I get up, eat an egg and drink a spinach shake, get sick and go back to bed.  Yesterday I was determined to go to lunch to celebrate my 89 year old Step Grandmothers birthday.  Bad, bad decision.  It was all I could do to not puke at lunch.  And then I came home, took a Zofran and a 4 hour nap. 

I'm bummed that I am so exhausted and don't do much but sleep.  I absolutely hate wasting my day sleeping.  I typically only need 6-7 hours of sleep and I'm good.  Not these days though, more like 14-16 hours a day, such a waste of time.  There are so many books to be read and activities to do, however per my mother, I'm healing my body by sleeping. 

Today I was determined to get my butt out of the house and walk down to the elementary school which is not even 1/4 mile.  I did it, but barely made it back before I wanted to bring my breakfast up and crawl back into bed.  Last week I was jogging 4 miles a day.  Today I feel completely out of shape.

After a morning nap, a small salad and a few minutes in the sunshine, I must admit, I'm feeling a little better.  It could also be because my cute nieces came back from being out all morning dressed as cows to get their free meal at Chick-Fil-A and wanting to swim, which is exactly what I wish I felt like doing too.

I'm finding that I have to keep antiemetics in my body (even though I'm far from a pill popper) and eat frequent small meals, even though my appetite is totally shot.  I feel worse if I don't eat. 

I'm hoping that by tomorrow I'm back to myself, because I really want to be busy enjoying the last few days that my sister and nieces will be in town.  

I have 2 more days until I have another treatment.  Thankfully the medicine that I believe is making me sick, won't be the one I will have in 2 days.  At least I hope so.  I plan to return to MVY in 1 week and at this point there is no way that I can return feeling the way I do.  Let's pray for a miracle.