Keep on Keeping on Cancer Update

I know it's been a while since I have updated you on my cancer journey and many have asked if I'm still having treatment.  It's been a journey to say the least.  A journey I'm getting use to, but one that I wish would end with me being healed.  I've tried to have the mindset that I have a chronic disease like diabetes or high blood pressure, but I want this to get behind me and let me get back to working more than 3 days a month.  Although that would mean I'd have to stay home more than I do and travel less!

I've pretty much not been on any treatment since my last dose of the immunotherapy on February 22.  I so wish that it would have worked, but it didn't so on to the next one; Rubaca which I only took for 3 weeks since it was thought it was making me sick and ultimately ended with a hospital stay over Easter Weekend.  It's hard to say if that was what was making me ill or if it was the tumor that is growing from outside of my stomach but pushing into my stomach.  At that time I was actually having two different abdominal pains, one was from a radiation induced colitis, which has finally resolved after several rounds of Prednisone.

I decided that after that experience I needed a chemo break through my many travels over the past few months, which is exactly what my body and mind needed.  It was a nice break too.  Unfortunately I felt rather sick through most of it with horrible stomach pain after eating.  A scan done in May showed the tumor had grown nearly 1 cm from early March to measure 3.1cm.  From the looks of the CT, the barium swallow and the endoscopy that I had in early June, it seems like this is the culprit.  However over the past few weeks I've felt pretty good with eating and rarely have pain.  I'm not sure if it is because I've learned how to eat to not have pain, if the tumor has shrunk on it's own, or if the Rubaca is finally out of my system and the cause of my pain.  Who knows, but whatever it was, I'll take no pain.

It was decided in May per Dr. Dan and other physicians at St. Lukes that surgery was my best option.  However I met with a surgeon the day I returned from Hawaii and after seeing the results of the barium swallow and the endoscopy he felt the surgery was to risky because it would involve a surgery of the pancreas as well, because the tumor is backed up to the pancreas.  The pictures show the tumor of the stomach opening into the duodenum (where the food goes from the stomach into the intestines.)  I did ask the surgeon what happens if the tumor gets bigger and I can't digest my food.  He told me he would consider surgery then or put a tube in where I could pass fluids.  Um no, I'm a foodie and life without food would be miserable and unacceptable.  How un-fun and un-cool it would be to go to lunch with my girlfriends and have to watch them eat delicious food while I sipped on my Ensure. 

By this time it was the middle of June.  I felt like I was back to where we were in May, what do we do next?  I have to remind myself often, like sometimes several times a day to be patient.  Answers to prayers don't often come right now or when we want them, but with patience and faith they come.  President Monson said it perfectly in today's quote from my quote of the day book that I read every night, "I testify that much joy comes as we recognize that we can communicate with our Heavenly Father through prayer and that those prayers will be heard and answered-perhaps not how and when we expected they would be answered, but they will be answered, and by a Heavenly Father who knows and loves us perfectly and who desires our happiness." 

Dr. Dan had talked with Dr. P in Boston who proposed we try a once a day pill to block the estrogen that is being produced by the adrenal glands.  It is thought that maybe the tumors are hormone related.  This medicine is typically used in breast cancer treatment.  I kept feeling like I needed to go to MD Anderson in Houston since I had talked to Kirts boss back in March who had ovc and went there with good results.  Dr. Dan was in full support of another opinion as well.  So I made the phone call and got an appointment June 30 with the director of gyn oncology who Dr. D actually happened to do her fellowship under.

MD Anderson and Mass General have both looked at my pathology slides.  Mass General told me that this was a high grade tumor that was fast growing.  MD Anderson disagrees and feels this is a low grade tumor that is slow growing and typically resistant to chemo, which would explain why I haven't seen any progress over the past 2 years (Yes it's been 2 years since I've had a recurrence).

I was super impressed with MD Anderson and Dr. S.  My visit consisted of us all sitting around a table discussing my  disease and my treatment.  I didn't feel rushed (which I never have by any of my physicians) and I was given plenty of time to ask questions.  Dr. S and her team also feel like the estrogen blocker was the way to go.  I loved that at the end of my visit, even though we agreed that I can continue to have my scans and treatment by Dr. Dan or Dr D, that Dr. S told me I will always be her patient and she can see me or answer my questions at any time.

I started the Letrozole (estrogen blocker) 6 Days ago.  I pretty much don't feel much different other than a few more aches and pains, which is a side effect.  It's more like just feeling like I worked out a little too hard.  Nothing I can't handle.  They say it causes hot flashes, but I've only felt my face flush once for a few minutes.

The first week in October I will have another CT scan to see if the tumors are shrinking or staying the same size.  I hope and pray for these results.  If not there is another medicine group called a Mek Inhibitor that we can try.

The Thursday that I arrived for the Ovarian Cancer Retreat in NC I started having excruciating low back pain, the same pain I had from the tumor in my right posterior iliac crest that was radiated in March.  Talk about disappointment.  For 15 days I took pain meds nearly around the clock for some relief of pain.  I couldn't get comfortable especially at night as the pain was worse with any position in bed.  Miraculously I had no pain yesterday, with the exception of a little at night and today has been the same.  Does this mean the Letrozole is already working?  I hope so, but I also believe that Heavenly Father is listening to me and answered my pleadings to take my pain away or at least make it bearable. 

I often have people ask me how I stay so positive through this journey.  It's because of my faith in the Lord and my desire for a miracle or maybe just the hope that my life will be extended past the projected life expectancy of one with this deadly disease.  I also realize that there are so many other things that are worse than what I am enduring.  I believe that the many prayers that are said in my behalf are heard by our loving Heavenly Father.  Yes, He is in charge, but I believe the quote my mom has in her kitchen, "Prayer Changes Things."  Most of all I feel so much peace and comfort from your prayers.  I really believe this is the real reason why this trial is bearable beyond what it should be.  So Thank You, even  though I know you are probably all so tired of praying for me, please don't stop. Keep those prayers coming!

Nachos and Prayer

This week was rough.  At least the first 3 days were.  I literally went from the couch to the bathroom, to radiation, except for the 1 mile walk that I went on Tuesday morning that felt like a marathon.  Thankfully yesterday and today I am feeling better.  It is so good to be home in Phoenix, although it was a close call getting here.  Thankfully there are bathrooms all around me and lots of drugs to keep me in the clear.

I visited my sister last weekend.  It was a very quick trip.  I felt good for only half of my time there.  Eating is going to get the best of me.  If I eat, I get sick.  I can do small frequent meals but if I get the least bit full, I'm done for.  She did take me to this place for lunch that had amazingly delicious grits.  I may not have been born southern, but my time in the south gave me a love for some great grits.  But it was the Chinese food that killed me.  No more Chinese food for me, EVER AGAIN.

I was humbled on Sunday when Aidree prayed over her lunch nachos, "Please bless Auntie Terah that the cancer will go out of her body and please bless the doctors that they will know how to get the cancer out of Auntie Terah's body."  This is a 7 year old.  She is amazing.  I'm sure she has no idea what is really going on, but she knows to pray.  I asked her if she remembered praying for me when she was almost 4 and I was super sick and crying after surgery.  She didn't, but I always will remember her going around the corner and praying all by herself out loud that I would get better. Bridget (5) said a similar prayer that night.  Of course this brought tears to my eyes.  It was cute when she went and got me a tissue without even saying anything.  I'm so grateful for all on my sweet nieces and nephews who pray for me on a regular basis.  I know it is because of their prayers and so many that I am doing as well as I am.  It could be so much worse you know. 

Today a man from my church came over to asses my yard because him and the young men are going to clean it up.  He asked me what kept me going and positive.  I told him it was my nieces and nephews and that I don't want to die.

Carter is growing so fast.  He is so cute and loves his baths.  We are all so happy to finally have this election over with, even though half the country isn't happy about the results.  The other half wouldn't have been happy if the other person would have won.   I'm actually anxious to see what an "outsider" can do. 

Good News/Bad News

I have a lot of fun things to blog about from the last few weeks, but I'm going to save that for later.  I unfortunately have to inform you of my labs, CT scan results and what's happening in the next month regarding this ridiculous cancer that just won't go away....

This morning I saw Dr. Dan.  I could tell by his demeanor when he walked in my room that things weren't great.  But they aren't bad, just not what I was hoping for.  

Good News:  All of my labs, except the CA-125 are all normal.

Bad News:  Ca-125 is up from 42 to 47.  It's really only up 11 points from normal, so not super bad.

Worse News:  The pre-sacral mass sitting just above my tailbone grew 6mm.  

Good News:  The pre-sacral mass isn't really causing me much pain.

Bad News:  The red devil chemo isn't working.

Worse News:  I've got sores in my right inguinal region that are side effects from the chemo and giving me horrific discomfort.  I started an antibiotic for them today.

Good News:  The mass by the left iliac crest that I thought was the same size as the pre-sacral mass, is actually only 1.5 cm and hasn't changed in size.

Good News:  I'm not going to be sick this weekend since I didn't have chemo today.  

Good News:  We are going forward with the clinical trial called the Match Trial.  Basically this is how it will go down:  I had more blood work and an EKG done today.  Wednesday morning I'll undergo a needle biopsy, likely from the left iliac crest.  This will be sent off to see if it matches a specific gene that has a specific treatment.  If it matches I'm in and will be given that treatment.  This would be fantastic and I'll likely be on the medicine which is oral until it stops working or forever.

Surgery is also an option to remove the pre-sacral mass.  It is a specialized surgery where they also do an intra-operative chemo treatment.  Even though they say this is experimental, they've been doing it for at least 10 years with good results.  The best place to do this on the West Coast is in San Diego.  While I'm waiting the 3-5 weeks to see if I'm eligible for the MATCH study, I'll go to San Diego for a consult.  

The other option before surgery would also be to start on an oral daily chemo called Procytox.  The major side effect is fatigue.  Dr. Dan did also discuss a few more chemo options with me, one included the first chemo that I did, but these chemo's would make me lose my hair.  I really don't want to go down that road again.

Bottom Line:  Even though I've been on Chemo for over a year, my tumor hasn't responded to it.  Which means in the past year the tumor has really only grown at the most 2 cm.  This is good in the fact that it must be slow growing.  It isn't like I have cancer all over and I'm dying today.  I live with cancer, just like other people live with high blood pressure and diabetes.  And to be honest as a health care professional, there are worse things to live with than ovarian cancer.

It's hard to understand why Heavenly Father hasn't answered my prayers to be healed by this chemo.  I still believe He is listening to me and is aware of me, but I also know that He see's the bigger picture that I can't see.  I believe that I'm not just the one who is learning and growing through this trial, but that there are many around me who are learning and growing because we are going through this trail together.

Tonight Troy brought his kids over while him and Becky went to the gym.  Tears sprang to my eyes when they ran to me and hugged me.  They have no idea of the Dr. appointment that I had today.   They asked me why I was crying.  I told them it was because I was so happy to see them.  I want to be alive to watch my sweet nieces and nephews grow and become the incredible people that I know they will be.  It makes me cry even more to think that this might not be in my future.  In our dinner prayer tonight as 4 year old Stella said it while she walked back and forth through the kitchen, she said "Bless Aunt Terah that her cancer will go away."  This is the same prayer that all of my nieces and nephews and friends children are saying all over the country.  I have faith in these prayers and know that they are heard and will be answered according to the Lords will. 

I am so very blessed to have such an amazing army of supporters, all of who pray for me daily.  I'm especially grateful for the unexpected relationship that has come into my life over the past 5 months.  HM is incredible!  We both believe there is a purpose that we met when and how we did.  It doesn't make sense otherwise.  We don't believe this was just a coincidence, but that the Lord had a hand in us meeting.  I know there has got to be a small or large sense of fear in him.  We had a wonderful conversation last week about having faith and not fear.  Since that conversation I've let go of some of the fear that I was holding on to.  As I was discussing Dr. Dan's visit with HM this morning, he reassured me that there is a solution to this problem, we just need to be patient, keep being positive and to have hope that the solution will come.  Any other man would have wanted me to get lost when he found out my history, but not him.  He makes me want to fight even harder.  I can even cry in front of him and he lets me without making me feel insecure or like I'm weak.

I've discovered in life the secret is to never give up.  Never let a stumble in the road be the end of my journey.  Stay faithful and keep going.

I saw this quote today, which summed things up perfectly,

And so we continue to wait, hope and believe in the Lord's timing and plan, while having incredible faith and patience that the future will be great and wonderful.  President Monson said it best, "The future is as bright as your faith."

Homebound Again

In 3 hours I'll be homebound again!  I'm happy to go home for many reasons...
-I'm meeting HM there tomorrow.  I'm excited to share him with my family, even though I'll be honest that I'm completely freaked out at the idea of taking him home.  I've found it's easier to keep guys from my family if it doesn't work out.  However, I am excited to spend several days with him.
-We are going to spend plenty of time out at the pool because the weather is going to be fantastic.
-We will of course attend the Snake River Stampede, a tradition we have had in our family since forever.
-We are going to one of my favorite plays in the mountains; Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.
-I get to cuddle, kiss and snuggle with my nieces and nephews.
-Of course we can't forget chemo, seeing Dr. Dan and hoping it's working.

Last night I had what I'm sure was a partial bowel obstruction.  I've had them before and each time they bought me an NG tube, which I didn't want.  I was in such horrible pain that I was seriously contemplating a trip to the ER, which you know me, working in one definitely makes me not ever want to be a patient in one.  Thanks to a few of my girlfriends and my parents prayers, the pain let up and I'm feeling much better this morning. 

Sometimes I feel like my prayers aren't being heard and answered in the way I am expecting them, but then I have moments like I had last night where I really needed prayers answered immediately and they are.   It is then that my faith is strengthened and I can't help but remember that Heavenly Father is listening to me.  This morning I read this quote that hit me to the core and was a good reminder to me to keep the faith no matter what. 

Huge Surprise

Today I had a huge surprise when the NP told me my CA-125 was 37.  I wanted to jump up and down blowing a party horn, doing a happy dance and toasting with my Martinellis Apple Cider (I love that stuff).  I was shocked and surprised to say the least, but mostly I was deeply humbled and grateful to my Heavenly Father for answering my many prayers and your many prayers as we have asked in faith and hoped for a miracle.

I'm pretty good at holding in my emotions, except for when I'm around a a few individuals or if I'm tired, but Saturday morning out of no where I had myself a good ugly cry.  They were tears of frustration and disappointment and probably a few tears of feeling defeated.  It only lasted 2 minutes before I put my big girl panties on and enjoyed yet another beautiful Phoenix Fall Day.  Sometimes a good cry is cleansing for the soul, which I believe that one was.

I told mom last night that I hoped the ovarian cancer marker would be at least 50, but she told me she has been praying that it would be in the teens.  We got a compromise.  This dropped 30 points in 4 weeks.  In the first 4 months of chemo the count only went from 83-67.  I'm more than thrilled that the marker is 1 point away from being within the normal range (less than 36 is normal).  This means that there shouldn't be any OVC cancer cells in my body and that the tumors should be gone.  We will know this when I have a CT scan the end of November.  The white count is continuing to increase with the help of the neulasta.  It was 8 today.  I'm hoping that this is the last time I have to do the neulasta.  It gives me such horrible bone pain and I had a killer headache for 24 hours last time.  If I can keep the WBC above 8, then come January I will be able to go back to work, which I really can't wait to do.

I'm sure the change in chemo from the carbo to the cisplatin has something to do with the drop.  But I firmly believe it dropped as an answer to the many prayers that are being said in my behalf all over the country, in Russia and Australia.  When I was home last week and was having horrible side effects from chemo my dad gave me a blessing.  In it he said, "I bless that you will see a drastic decrease in the OVC Marker."  I know that blessing and answer came from faithful parents prayers and from my Heavenly Father answering those prayers. 

So now we hope that in the next month my count drops to the teens or single digits.  If this happens and the CT scan is normal, then I will have 2 more rounds (2 months) of chemo, unless we can go back to day's 1 and 8 with 1 week off.  Hopefully I will start back to work part time in January and be back to full time by February (the worst flu month).  Did I mention I will be so happy to go back to work though?

I'm so grateful for miracles, my own faith and the faith of many others, for the prayers and fasting offered by so many people in my behalf and for modern day medicine.  I can do hard things and am so grateful for the support I have from the amazing people in my life.  I love the following short video regarding burdens and trials. 

In studying President Monsons conference address last month, I came across this favorite quote, which he has quoted before:

"To be an example of faith means that we trust in the Lord and in His word. It means that we possess and that we nourish the beliefs that will guide our thoughts and our actions. Our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and in our Heavenly Father will influence all that we do. Amidst the confusion of our age, the conflicts of conscience, and the turmoil of daily living, an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives. Remember that faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other."  When I originally was diagnosed in June 2013, the last line of this quote became our family motto as we plunged through the days of chemo and cancer.  My aunt even embroidered this on the blanket that I use often.  President Monson reminds us at the end of this quote of the scripture in D&C 90:24, Said the Lord, “Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good.”

I love this reminder that if I put my faith into practice and all of my efforts into studying my scriptures, praying with faith and believing in miracles, that all things will work together for my good and oh how they are.

He Answers Prayers

I'm so happy to report that my Neutrophil count and White Blood Count are in normal range today.  I had an appointment this morning for a blood draw and visit with the oncologist PA in preparation for tomorrows chemo.  Given everything was normal and my parents will be arriving in the morning, we decided to do chemo today instead of tomorrow.  The better news is because the counts are normal I will not have to have the Neupogen/Nulesta injection, which I'm so happy about!

I opted today not to have the steroids that they typically give when I have chemo.  (I think the steroids make me gain weight and no girl wants that).  Typically the steroids help with the side effects from the chemo and my hard head wanted to see if I could do without them.  Very bad choice.  Unfortunately the side effects from chemo came on as I was having the infusion; fatigue and abdominal pain which I am continuing to have tonight.  When I had chemo the first time I would have a sore throat.  I had a touch of that today, but tonight it seems to be gone.  I'm also going to start taking omeprazole in hopes that it helps with the abdominal pain.  The dose I took today did not improve my symptoms.  I do find that doterra peppermint drops seem to help the nausea and abdominal pain, but only for a short time. 

Medically speaking my counts shouldn't have been normal today given I had a treatment only 7 days ago.  But spiritually speaking, I testify it is only because of Heavenly Fathers answer to the many prayers and fasting which have been offered in my behalf (especially this past Fast Sunday) that they have improved.  I'm ever so grateful for answered prayers.  I don't know how He hears all of our prayers, but I testify that He does hear them.  This talk by Elder Bednar in April 2008 General Conference is one of my most very favorite.  I love this short video with excerpts from his talk.  

Decisions

I have a very big decision that I need to make in the next 2 weeks.  I feel like I did when I finished graduate school, because I'm making the same kind of decisions I did then.  I think it is harder this time though, because I have experience.

The decision you ask....where do I live and which job do I take?

I have two amazing opportunities, two very different opportunities and in two different states.  I have weighted each of the pro's and con's of both opportunities over and over in my mind and they both would be wonderful.

The decision I make will ultimately determine the people that I will effect and who will have an effect on my life, what kind of house I will live in and what ward I will go to.  It will most definitely determine my happiness.  I can be happy anywhere and would be happy I'm sure with whatever decision I make, but...where the Lord's plan for me is yet to be determined.

And so, I will continue to be extremely faithful and prayerful and let you know when the decision has been made.  A few extra prayers said in my behalf won't hurt either.

The Miracle of Hair

This week marks the 1 year anniversary of my last chemo treatment.  It is hard for me to believe I went through what I went through with cancer.  It was such a hard time, even though the last 2 1/2 months may have been just as difficult emotionally.  Today I was the guest speaker during our Primary Sharing Time.  The topic was on faith.  I talked to the kids about the faith that it took for me to struggle through cancer and losing my hair.  I told them that I have 9 nieces and nephews who I was determined to live for.  I talked about how these kids prayed that I would get better and how their faith grew as they saw this miracle take place.  I then told them about Aidree's prayer at Thanksgiving how she prayed that my hair and eyelashes would grow back and how Bridget said when I was crying over the prayer, "Why you cry?  Your hair grow back."  The sweetest thing occurred in the kitchen last week when I was home, just before Tristen drove back to SLC.  Bridget and I were the only ones in the kitchen.  She looked at me and said, with a slight question in her voice, "Heavenly Father made your hair grow back."  I said, "Yes Bridgy, He did, because he answered your prayers." I hope that my nieces and nephews never forget the miracle that they witnessed.  I truly feel like a miracle and am so grateful for miracles in my life.  I was reading this week in Ether 12 of the miracles that the Lord performs, but only after we have faith.  How grateful I am for the many examples in the scriptures of those who had faith and the miracles that took place because of their faith...Oh the difference a year makes!

Thank You Kids For Your Prayers

I have so many sweet kids praying for me.  It is so unbelievably humbling to me to even think about the many, many people and kids that pray for me several times a day.  Yesterday my sister asked me if I felt the prayers offered in my behalf while I had chemo.  Through tears she told me that she sent out an email to family and friends updating them on my progress and requesting special prayers as I go through this last round of chemo.  The humbling thing is that I felt so much at peace both yesterday and today as I had chemo. I usually have a lot of discomfort and pain when I have the IP chemo that I had today, but I had absolutely no pain, just the discomfort of the 15 pounds of fluid that they put in me.  I'm not kidding about the 15 pounds either, pictures prove it...Don't forget the fluids I had yesterday and the fluids I will have tomorrow and Friday.

Before IP Chemo

After, swollen hands, feet and of course Abdomen

This is as close to pregnant as I will ever look.

On my way home I sent a text to my friend Lauren in CLT telling her I felt her prayers today.  She sent back a text that said, "It was probably baby Brody's 'Ms. Tewah feel bewetter' prayers."  So sweet!

Right after I was diagnosed with cancer my cousins were sitting around the dinner table in Phoenix, where I had just come from.  I'm told they had the missionaries over and one was blessing the food.  Of course he didn't know about me, but 8 year old Megan interrupted the end of his prayer saying, "And please bless cousin Terah that she will get better."  You have to know this darling girl, she is hilarious, and has a contagious smile.  I'm sure there was plenty of laughter at that dinner table.  Sure love this girl.  This family also had a family reunion a few weeks later and I was told that every single prayer by adult or child included me in it.  Very humbling indeed.

Megan and I in the grapefruit tree 5 days before I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer.

Several Sundays ago, my cousin Katie posted a picture on FB drawn by her 5 or 6 year old in Primary that day which said, "who are you praying for?"  He had written my name and drawn a picture of me.  Her message follows:  "West had a lesson on prayer today.  Look who he is praying for!  Thank you for your strength and letting us be a small part of this experience you are having.   Love Ya."

A few months ago when I was having a hard day with chemo my sweet niece Aidree was over.  We were in the bathroom and I am pretty sure I was crying.  She knealt down and said a sweet prayer for me, which included that my hair would grow back.  A few hours later I was in my room and mom was trying to comfort me.  Aidree went into the next room, kneeled down and said a prayer for me.  She often prays that I will get better and that my hair will grow back by Christmas.  She is 4, but has been taught about prayer.

My nephews also pray for me...they are 6 and under.  My brother's tell me about their children's prayers and when they are over I hear their sweet prayers blessing me to get well.

I have many cousins who are praying for me and their children pray for me.  I am so lucky!  What I have learned from this experience is that they all have great parents who are teaching them the importance of prayer and faith.  What great people they are, doing what they were sent here to do!

Several of my friends and family members report often that they are still praying for me all the time.  Please keep the prayers coming even though I will soon be finished with chemo, it doesn't mean I'm in the clear yet, especially with another surgery coming up.  You all who pray for me will never know the impact you have had on my life.  But as I have mingled with family and friends I've come to realize I will never realize the impact I have had on their lives as well, as they have made me a part of their every day life and gone through this trial right along side me.

How grateful I am for a loving Heavenly Father who listens to our prayers; but who also answers those prayers.  I have learned to have greater faith in my personal prayers and in the prayers said in my behalf over the last several months.  As I type on the shelf within eye shot is a small sign that says, "Prayer Changes Things."  I believe this quote, have felt it several times in my life and have great faith in it.  I'm so grateful for prayers, for my belief in prayer and for the many, many, many prayers said for little ole' me.

PS.  My grandpa lost his teeth today, we don't know if he hid them, he put's them in his pockets (which he has done before and we have found them) or if he threw them away.  They searched for 2 hours today and haven't found them.  So can you please say a little prayer that the teeth are found?

Prayer

My first Sunday in Charlotte a girl played a piano solo called, A Child's Prayer.  At that time I didn't know anyone there, I was there with my mom but she was going to leave soon.  I felt lonely and scared as I started my career in a city I didn't know.  As I listened to this beautiful solo I thought of the words and felt so much reassurance that Heavenly Father heard my prayers.  To this day when I hear the primary children sing this song or in another form my eye's well up in tears, because I know the words of this song are true.  On Father's Day our church choir sang this and I have been told that it made my dad quite emotional which is so sweet to me.  Many times as I have been lying in bed over the past 3 weeks the words of this song come to mind and give me peace.  The words of the song go as followed:
1. Heavenly Father, are you really there?

And do you hear and answer ev'ry child's prayer?Some say that heaven is far away,But I feel it close around me as I pray.Heavenly Father, I remember nowSomething that Jesus told disciples long ago:"Suffer the children to come to me."Father, in prayer I'm coming now to thee.
2. Pray, he is there;Speak, he is list'ning.You are his child;His love now surrounds you.He hears your prayer;He loves the children.Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of heav'n.
I love what the Bible Dictionary say's about prayer:
As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are His children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matt. 7:7–11). Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.
So many prayers have been said by so many people in my behalf over the past 3 1/2 weeks.  I am so grateful for all of those prayers.  I know that Heavenly Father hears all of those prayers.  I don't know how He hears them, but I know he does.  I have felt at peace from the prayers of so many and am so grateful for continued prayers.  Prayer doesn't take what I am going through away, but it does make it easier and does make me feel closer to my Savior and our Heavenly Father.  Please keep praying for me and my family.  I testify Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers.