Roar

Tuesday morning on my way to chemo and all mornings on my way to chemo and during chemo I have listened to my chemo play list which I love and which includes the Katy Perry song Roar.  I love this song and sometimes listen to it over and over again.  It makes me feel like I can conquer anything.  I mean really if you can conquer cancer and chemo you should be able to conquer anything.   I loves these lyrics of course I think of You in this song as Ovarian Cancer:

You held me down, but I got up 
Already brushing off the dust 
You hear my voice, your hear that sound 
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground 
You held me down, but I got up 
Get ready cause I’ve had enough 
I see it all, I see it now 

Chorus: 
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire 
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar 
Louder, louder than a lion 
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar 

Now I’m floatin like a butterfly 
Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes 
I went from zero, to my own hero 

As I went into my last chemo treatment I felt power like never before, prayers like I've never felt and the will to move on from this amazingly, challenging yet motivating experience.

Dad has never come to treatment with me and wanted to.  It was nice to have my parents be there with me as I finished my last chemo treatment.  I'm so grateful for the wonderful parents that I have who have stood by me through this entire journey.

Treatment wasn't as bad as it has been in the past, but wasn't as easy either.  At some point in the infusion I feel pain in my left shoulder, chest and upper abdomen.  When this begins I start walking the floor where I was for those 15 days.  It was a healing floor indeed.  I ran into some of the nurses who took care of me those 5 months ago.  It was nice to be able to say to them, "This is my last treatment...I did it!."

As I left my room after finishing treatment, I hugged my chemo nurses and immediately felt a rush of emotions and tears for all that I have gone through.  I wasn't expecting this in the least bit.  They were tears of joy, humility, relief, gratitude and hope.  I proved to myself that I can do hard things.  I have done hard things in the past and I know I will be able to accomplish hard things in the future.  Life really is a test and is all about learning and growing.  I have definitely grown in this chapter of my life.

I will not miss having chemo through both of these ports.

Outside of the hospital is this beautiful rose bush.  I have watched it bloom for the past 4 months that I have been having chemo.  I was happy to see on my last day of chemo, the end of October that it was still blooming for me.